God's Beauty in the Feminine and Masculine

Here I am again at Half Moon Bay beach. This time I am with Teddie though:-). I brought her without a harness and am banking on our bond and the fact that cats are territorial that she will stay close as I type.

Today I had a repitition exercise with one of my classmates that shined a light on an aspect of myself I rarely give voice to. It is the feminine principle that so often gets discounted in our "male" valued society. Now don't get me wrong "male" values are good and necessary but so are the "female".But before I get too analytical about it all, I will relay things as they happened and let you take the lessons you will from them.

This past week I began acting classes again. In the first steps of what is called the Meisner technique you do what are called repitition exercises. Simply put you look at your partner and focus on their physical behavior. You let them affect you personally and respond instinctually..they repeat what you said and you keep doing this until something changes. When the feeling changes then one or the other changes the words expressed. You focus 100% on your partner, listen, let them in and respond truthfully. It sounds simple enough but because being vulnerable is not something we go around being 24/7 it is harder than it seems. It usually takes time to get there, and yet as actors we strive to get there as quickly as we can.

So today I did this repitition exercise with a classmate. At first we were both in our own modes and quirks. I was forward and intense and he was passive and reactive. I wanted him to take charge and I took charge to try to make this happen. Yet he remained in his mode and I in mine...it was a long funny dance.

And then something happened and he became masculine and took charge. It was so beautiful to see and almost immediately I teared and began to cry. And in this shift he saw in me the very sensitive, vulnerable and feminine side. And his observation of me made him say I was cute and femine when he saw this sensitivity and that he trusted me.

Ironically, his masculinity allowed me to be feminine and my feminity allowed him to be even more masculine. My classmate doesn't really know me but some words he conveyed during the repititon rang so true. After he saw me soften he said " You don't have to be tough. You don't have to be tough." I don't have to be tough. There is strength in softness, in vulnerability ,in tears, in receptivity. There is strength in the feminine.

Our culture already knows there is strength in the masculine and slowly we are learning there is strength in the feminine. The giving and the receiving of men and women has value and strength. It deserves respect and even awe. It is my prayer we all see God's beauty in the feminine and masculine.

The consequences of God's divine love

Competing themes this week as a lot happened. The retreat at my parish given by Fr Tom Allender provided much food for thought, and so I will devote this blog to his retreat. Part of my new years resolution turned out to be the theme of the 3 day talk/retreat.

Diverging from the rest of my blogs, much of what I share in this blog will be a reflection of what I heard from Fr.Tom. Fr, Tom said, if we believe in a God who loves conditionally, we will love ourselves and others this way. If we believe that God only is pleased with us, cares for us and guides us when we do good, then we will treat ourselves and others this way. If we believe in a God who punishes us with silence or distance or criticism and withdraws His love then we will reflect this type of love toward ourselves and others. This type of love makes us fearful of Gods' and other peoples reactions. We can't love unconditionally if we believe God does not love us unconditionally.

As I thought about this I thought about consequences. Consequences can be good or bad. Bad consequences result from poor choices or mistakes. There are consequences to mistakes we make but this does not equate us as being less worthy of being loved. Believing in Karma leaves us with a view of conditional love by the laws of the universe and hence a conditional love by our creator.

Our mistakes, however, are only a small fraction of who we are, and sometimes those mistakes can be a grace for us and others. Yet when we chose to define ourselves or others by these mistakes, then we are damning ourselves. Nowhere is this most evident then with those who are behind bars justly. Even after paying the consequences for their action, they are forever defined in terms of their mistake. I can think of no greater an injustice that is largely ignored. After all, Jesus was condemned a criminal and paid the consequence for his crime during his time.

Sometimes, though, even natural consequences are suspended. Most of us have heard of the chain smoker, like George Burns, who did not develop lung cancer early and die. Then there are those who are health nuts and take care of themselves and die early. If you have enough money you may have had a chance to escape a prison sentence. I am not advocating these actions but just illustrating a point. We can justly or unjustly suffer consequences or even be like Jesus and take on the consequences of others and suffer the penalty. The reality remains we are loved no less, and in some instances may need love even more.

We can see God's unconditional love for us as revealed by Jesus in scripture. Matthew 5:45
..so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46“For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47“If you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48“Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Here we are advised to be perfect just like our Father in Heaven is perfect for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good. In other words, He loves unconditionally. But all the reading in the world won't help if we don't really believe in our hearts that we are loved this way by our creator.

It would seem counter intuitive that our God who is unconditional love would not love us this way. We are created as beings who makes mistakes but we know that we are so much more than those mistakes. However, holding onto those mistakes can limit us from being the more that we are. And here is where forgiveness come in and why the Lords prayer helps us be in the moment. We let go of the past and live in the now. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lord's_Prayer

This gift of love is with us each and every moment. The more we embrace it the more we become love. And in the words of Father Tom, if we have love then we can give it away. We can't give what we don't have.

It is my prayer that in each moment we open our hearts to God's love, and especially in those moments where we feel we have made a mistake or feel wronged. What a beautiful world this will be when we become the consequences of God's divine love.

Designed to Give

Most of us have heard of the seemingly trite saying it is better to give than to receive. Some of us already know this is true but some of us may not believe this is so. Its embarrassing to be immersed in a time where we focus on the receiving. We are lauded for looking out for ourselves. Perhaps one of the worst forms of focusing on the receiving is when you ask questions like what kind of presents am I getting? How much attention am I getting? How much love am I being shown? You focus on this too much and you can create a living hell.

Focusing on the receiving can be more subtle as well. Sometimes we don't want to put ourselves out by traveling too far or having to deal with uncomfortable circumstances unless remuneration is involved. In this culture, sometimes, we are looking for a windfall or take advantage of the goodwill of a friend. We want to negotiate the best terms at work, in relationship or with something we purchase or services we seek. So what are the fruits of this focus? When we succeed, although it may seem like we are winning, are we really satisfied? The questions can come..could I have gotten more? What else could I have gotten or what can I get next? You see the gap between more and infinity is so huge..you will never catch up!:-) Such is the plight of focusing on the receiving.

There are two types of giving as well, namely, the reciprocated and the charitable give. Examples of the charitable give do not include the tax-benefited Good Will donation:-.) Examples of the reciprocated kind are an exchange of gifts or alternating visits or dinners or anything that involves some equal give and take. Exchanging Christmas presents is nice, but that's not really what happened that first Christmas back in Bethlehem. The three wise men came bearing gifts. I don't remember them saying anything about Mary and Joseph giving gifts back let alone the baby Jesus doing so.

This past Christmas I sent Christmas cards, exchanged Christmas gifts, and celebrated in the company of friends. All of it was enjoyable including the giving and the receiving. However, deciding to volunteer at Little Sisters of the Poor and then magically and spontaneously deciding to pack some gifts for the residents there ended up being the most joyous part of my entire Christmas.

There are a variety of reasons why this might be. For one my giving was unexpected and assuredly unreciprocated. The only judgement and reaction to my gifts was one of surprise and gratitude. I gave without pretense and the motivation came straight from my heart. Not that this wasn't the case when I gave to family or friends but I did think a lot about how the gift will be received. I also at the very least thought subconsciously about what I may or may not receive. I'm sure I gave freely and lightly to the Little Sisters of the Poor for these and probably many other reasons.

Giving is a symbol of what we value, and it is obviously more than material. It can be in the form of our time, our care, our finances, our service and our love. Of course cultivating and caring for family and friends is important and in many ways more challenging than charitable giving. However, after my experience this past Christmas, I have to wonder if we are designed to receive the greatest joy in unreciprocated giving. And if so then why not share this joy with family and friends and invite them to celebrate in this joyous reality. Who knows it may even strengthen those bonds.

As we embark on the post Christmas season marked in our faith as ordinary time, let us take this joy and spread it throughout the year. Lets share it with those most dear to us. Let us always remind ourselves that the greatest joy is when we do what we are designed to do. And as God showed us through Christ, it may be that we are also designed to give.