Thursday, October 13, 2016


Dare to Dream

This is not a typical post for me but so glad that it has inspired me to write again. This is my ode to the Cubs and what they mean to me and for me.

It may seem odd to be so dialed in to a baseball team. But there is a personal and franchise history that transcends normal sports for me.

What is odder is that I really could have cared less during the regular season for any sports team since I was maybe 12 years old. 

I think I officially "gave up" on the Cubs after the Bartman incident in 2003 when they made it to the playoffs. Frankly, I coined a new joke..You know Jesus is coming soon when the Cubs win the World Series. Given the world and political climate...maybe it is.:-)

Then the Giants started winning the world series every time they made it to the playoffs and so I dialed in during that time.The last time was 2014. I was in Burbank and would have lots of fun cheering them on. It was only during the playoffs and I would watch an occasional game at At&T park. That was the extent of what baseball meant to me as an adult. But I said I was glad to be living in a winning city and so glad I had outgrown the Cubs.:-)

The balance and normality of it was thrown off with a vengeance when the Cubs made it to the playoffs in 2015. They again were stopped short of the World Series. I had hope as the back to the future movie prediction that in 2015 the Cubs had won the World I thought maybe it was a sign. :-) But it was not meant to be...but what was meant to be is that something deep inside me was awakened.

It was a time when I was fully alive, anticipated the future, was content and secure in who I was and my foundation was rooted and stable. And somehow..the Cubs reminded me of that time. It also reminded me that they had struggled for years and thru generations and never quite achieved what all baseball teams frankly have achieved in the last century...a World Series win. 1908 was a vastly different era and baseball was a very different sport. So now my now decades long dormancy and the Cubs century long hibernation awoke.  

Now I realized this team was actually very good and young and 2016 held great promise. So I knew I would be checking in come April 2016. And boy did I check in...I started by hearing the games..and the more they won...the more I was lured in. I literally regressed to 12 and it was a complete joy.

The season saw me finally cave in and order pay baseball so I could see the non nationally televised games. I saw the Cubs at AT&T park, the Oakland Coliseum and finally at Wrigley field...for the first time in decades with full joy. It reminded me that I would walk to games with my best friend when I was 17. It reminded me I had history that transcends time and that my love affair with the Cubs never really ended.

My Cubs had gone thru changes, grown up and yet still were the same. And now it was generations upon generations of fandom..that had awakened and dared to dream again.

And maybe that is what the symbolism is...that it is never too late to dare to dream again. That if you fail time and time again, and even if you get tantalizing close to your dream and then experience heart break... you take the down time and then dust yourself off make the changes that you can and slowly but surely when it is in your grasp you can pull out all the stops. You dare to act on your dream.

I don't know what the Post Season holds,for the Cubs or for me.  But what I do it is good to reconnect, be fully alive and to dare to dream.

Friday, July 15, 2016


Carry Peace in Our Heart

It has been a long time since I penned something. I have been going thru a transition with some formal beliefs and so it almost felt hypocritical to write. 

But all I can be is me and as authentic as I can be given my limitations in perception.

This political season I have witnessed what I thought I never would. Our darkest angels summoned forth and a polarization that has at times even brought me in. Nothing wrong with criticizing or raising concerns if your conscious dictates but a fixed position that brings anger and judgement out is definitely not our better angels.

Then there is the filming of questionable police force and an enraged shooter and the tragedy in Nice. It happens so fast..and it is overwhelming at times.

I certainly carry joy more often than not. I feel blessed beyond belief in so many ways and for the first time feel I perceive life in a more balanced. fashion There are benefits, costs and risks in every situation and I learn from all of them.

So what of our current global and current microcosm of our political climate? All I can say is it is time to take a step back, not assume we know all the variables and judge a bit less harshly.

Our liberating goal would be to choose our actions, our focus and our reactions with some calm. And to choose to carry peace in our heart.

Sunday, January 24, 2016


Not in our image but HIS

One of the beautiful things about letting go of preconceived notions that don't work is you open yourself up to what you know is true and yet surrender to what you don't know. That is namely God on both counts.

I had a surreal experience a week ago after Mass. This particular attendance was about embracing a God that I know is good and that the absence of Him is evil. I surrendered to knowing His Love far supersedes any human love and that our capacity to Love only grows thru challenges, thru connecting with those in His image deeply and thru being connected to Him..the source of all our love. So I connected with that knowing and surrendered and stayed silent and got emotional and teared up.

The word too, who the bible says is Jesus, spoke to me. The various gifts we all have but they come from the same spirit..the Holy spirit. And even the Gospel about the wedding at Cana. How Mary help usher in Jesus ministry. It seemed the Holy Spirit, who had a special relationship with Mary and because of that bore Jesus were all there by the powerful word at the very least. Ok no paraphrasing--so at  the end of this story are the full scriptures.

And so with this I left, keeping the prayer alive in my heart and mind. It was pouring rain at 7pm this Sunday. And as I crossed the street right from the church..maybe 20 feet down the other side of the street. I heard a screech and cry "oh my God".  

I knew what this was without even turning. I prayed "Dear God in Heaven" and I turned around and ran to the scene of the accident. It was an elderly man named Bob, 85 who was down..his wife standing over him. The lady who hit him was not out yet. 

I did what came naturally. I kneeled down and stroked the man's arm and kept saying it is going to be ok. Soon more people came.

The woman who hit the gentleman, came out and was very distraught and guilt ridden. One gentleman squatted to provide rain cover for the means head and upper body with his umbrella. Another man came by and asked all kinds of questions like what is your name, how old are you, where are do you feel? All the answers were lucid. The man who asked all the right questions was a trauma nurse. Before I go further, every one involved at this scene..including the unintended victim and the distraught driver were all parishioners who had just left mass.

The driver called 911 immediately but it seemed to take forever for the ambulance and paramedics to get there. The driver was so distraught and guilt ridden that no matter what I said to ease some of her responsibility she protested. I then just asked her to pray for Bob..say a rosary. 

45 minutes later..the rain cover and the consoler who kept saying positive things were still there.

His wife had fallen but gotten up I then learned as she was hit as well. The paramedics attended to her immediately and she was then taken to a an ambulance and treated...while we were waiting for the paramedics to attend to and take her husband Bob away.

The professionals stepped in and as they put him on a stretcher..I noticed a comb and a soak drenched purse. I returned it to the driver who was now far away talking to the police.

As Bob was being carried away I asked, where are you taking him? They said San Francisco General as no nearby hospital has a trauma center and they needed to take him there just in case. 

Bob seemed to be doing ok by all accounts except for a sore hip according to what the paramedics said and what I could observe.

The driver came to me to ask and I told her where they were taking him. She said " I am going to go are you going". I said good and no. I felt my role was finished at this time.

As I walked away soaked, I marveled at what had just happened. We all were there with our own gifts brought by the same spirit.

May we embrace God in whatever ways He reveal Himself to us and know that is not in our image but HIS.

Reading 21 COR 12:4-11

Brothers and sisters:
There are different kinds of spiritual gifts but the same Spirit; 
there are different forms of service but the same Lord;
there are different workings but the same God
who produces all of them in everyone.
To each individual the manifestation of the Spirit
is given for some benefit.
To one is given through the Spirit the expression of wisdom;
to another, the expression of knowledge according to the
same Spirit;
to another, faith by the same Spirit;
to another, gifts of healing by the one Spirit;
to another, mighty deeds;
to another, prophecy;
to another, discernment of spirits;
to another, varieties of tongues;
to another, interpretation of tongues.
But one and the same Spirit produces all of these,
distributing them individually to each person as he wishes.

GospelJN 2:1-11

There was a wedding at Cana in Galilee,
and the mother of Jesus was there.
Jesus and his disciples were also invited to the wedding.
When the wine ran short,
the mother of Jesus said to him,
“They have no wine.”
And Jesus said to her,
“Woman, how does your concern affect me?
My hour has not yet come.”
His mother said to the servers,
“Do whatever he tells you.”
Now there were six stone water jars there for Jewish ceremonial washings,
each holding twenty to thirty gallons.
Jesus told them,
“Fill the jars with water.”
So they filled them to the brim.
Then he told them,
“Draw some out now and take it to the headwaiter.”
So they took it. 
And when the headwaiter tasted the water that had become wine,
without knowing where it came from
— although the servers who had drawn the water knew —,
the headwaiter called the bridegroom and said to him,
“Everyone serves good wine first,
and then when people have drunk freely, an inferior one;
but you have kept the good wine until now.”
Jesus did this as the beginning of his signs at Cana in Galilee
and so revealed his glory,
and his disciples began to believe in him.