Forgiveness

 

Rarely is this voice heard or if heard respected. Forgiveness is a gift to yourself, to the injuring party and to the world. In this Easter Season there have been many moments I found joy, lightness and openness and many times I have felt loss, aloneness and pain. That is the process leading to forgiveness. Sometimes there are patterns that repeat itself in relationships and you have to stop the pattern. And sometimes stopping that pattern requires saying true things that change the other's perspective and the way they choose to move forward or not. When this pattern for you finally ends, you may feel relief.  

But a choice follows.

You can choose to blame yourself, the other person or God or life circumstances, your parents or all or part or a myriad of other options or you can just choose to forgive everyone you blamed.

There is a freedom in forgiving yourself, the other person and your false concept of God (or whomever else you blamed). It lifts the cloud and makes you light. It allows you to face the music and let others handle things their own way. It allows you to let go and move on. What follows is that you open to new experiences,  new people, and to God in a different way. You open to whatever comes or does not come your way. It frees you to see that sometimes you don't see and so you forgive that too,

Forgiveness takes many forms. The past is one..the present is another and the future requires another. Sometimes you will fail in the moment but the goal remains the same. Don't forget to forgive yourself too.

For me and God..I think I took the signs as an answer. Perhaps the answer was to open up and keep walking through problems over and over again because I kept seeing signs and progress. I have to believe the purpose is growth now. Many beautiful gifts come from a failed relationship. But I have to be honest and say..in hindsight I would have stopped walking through the problems a long long time ago. On the other hand, I learned to the very end something very valuable had I not walked through the problems until I could no more. In any case God uses every choice the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly for His grand purpose. And I am grateful I don't get to know or judge.

If it took this experience to learn the beauty, the power and the healing effect of forgiveness then it was well worth it.  It's a muscle I will have to use over and over for myself and others. I hope to give God the reins fully one day..it seems to work for a lot of people but that process for me now still requires  discernement, pondering and the free will choice to continue down this path of faith.

One day I will look back and say this major shift led to this wonderful new path and the timing was right and it never would have been if this other thing did not happen or end when it did or the way it did. 

Forgiveness is what drew me back to faith. The famous passage while Jesus was hanging on the cross, "Forgive them Father for they know not what they do."  That touched me in a way nothing else did when I came to know the purpose of life. Give that voice/whisper a chance.  Forgiveness is one of the more beautiful gifts God has taught us about and it works.

Epiphany

It's amazing to me that I could be Catholic for so long and not know what this feast means until now. That alone should keep me humble, knowing that I know so little it constitutes not knowing at all for all practical purposes:-).

The feast of the Epiphany is the next to last day of Christmas and celebrates when the Magi followed the star all the way to where the baby Jesus was with Mary. They brought gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh and did him homage. They recognized that this infant was God incarnate. For more information on this special day here is a good article on the celebration:

http://www.bworldonline.com/content.php?section=Opinion&title=The-Epiphany&id=44655

Because Epiphany is such a powerful word, I looked for definitions of what it means. Here is what I found. The first two are from Wikepedia. I have attached the link for those who want full context:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epiphany

The word epiphany originally referred to insight through the divine.[6] Today, this concept is used much more often and without such connotations, but a popular implication remains that the epiphany is supernatural, as the discovery comes suddenly from the outside.

An epiphany (from the ancient Greek ἐπιφάνεια, epiphaneia, "manifestation, striking appearance") is the sudden realization or comprehension of the (larger) essence or meaning of something. The term is used in either a philosophical or literal sense to signify that the claimant has "found the last piece of the puzzle and now sees the whole picture," or has new information or experience, often insignificant by itself, that illuminates a deeper or numinous foundational frame of reference.

And one last from www.dictionary.com: e·piph·a·ny

1. ( initial capital letter ) a Christian festival observed on January 6, commemorating the manifestation of Christ to the gentiles in the persons of the Magi; Twelfth-day.
2. an appearance or manifestation, especially of a deity.
3. a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.
4. a literary work or section of a work presenting, usually symbolically, such a moment of revelation and insight.

Origin:
1275-1325; Middle English epiphanie < Late Latin epiphanīaepipháneia, Greek: apparition, equivalent to epi- epi- + phan- (stem of phaínein to appear) + -eia -y3

Epiphany (holiday), a Christian holiday on January 6 celebrating the visit of the Magi to the infant Jesus Epiphany (feeling), a sudden realization of great truth.

For me, after reading these articles, I feel epiphanies are rare. In a sense we are always seeking and discovering new realities both collectively and individually, but rarely is that final piece revealed.

If our life is a puzzle then we are always collecting and putting a new piece in. We see more clearly what the picture is but more often than not we don't see the whole picture. That could range from a broad question like, "What is the purpose of my life?", to a very specific question like, "Why do certain people enter my life?" or "Who has God willed to be my mate?". We seek answers and get some confirmations. We can see some reasons, but rarely do we see the whole picture.

This first week of the new year for me, I have received lots of signs. The first is in what I have received unexpectedly in career options and deeper friendship connections. Later, some very powerful and unexpected feelings were revealed to me. Finally, prayers were answered and signs pointed me to someone, and doors closed away from others. The purpose, reason and outcome I do not know. What I do know is that God/Love has milestones in mind for me this year. He has prepared my heart.

As we journey in this life not knowing what the next moment will bring and not knowing when our efforts will pay off, let us trust in the divine voice that resides in us. Let's trust it to guide us through the light and dark moments. To trust that step by misstep, if we hold on to God and Love as much as we can in this life, we will eventually see the Epiphany.