It is often said that communication is key in relationships. I find often that actions speak much louder than words. Whenever I am ambivalent and/or see ambivalence between action and word, it is often the action that will ultimately decide where your heart really is. And there is little point fighting it, for in the end you are either in something or you are not.
Our relationship with God is much the same. We can talk about praying, we can pay lip service to God but unless our action and our body matches our words our heart is not really in it. I have found little and big answers have come in my life when I get down on my knees, pour my heart out to God and in humility ask for guidance or help.
I am digging back to the beginning of my prayer life in sharing one experience with you. I do this in the hope this example of prayer experience will help you as well as re-energize me into what is possible. As we get older, more confident and self sufficient, it is easy to not only lose sight of praying, our communication with God, but also to change our relationship with God. It is certain our relationship with God matures and changes as we go thru life, but I feel that we feel closest to God when we are vulnerable and depend on Him. It mirrors the times we feel closest to one another.
My new found faith started at age 20 and led to my first divine connection in what I refer to as my wallet story. I was a sophomore in college and had just come back from having lunch with a friend at Garcia's Pizza in Champaign, Il. Sometime afterward, I noticed that I could not find my wallet.
So I did the logical thing. First, I looked all over the house. When that yielded nothing, I then retraced my steps as to when and where it was that I had last seen my wallet. It was at Garcia's. I called the restaurant and they had nothing, I then called my friend to see if I had left it in her car and again no luck. Logically, the only other place it could have fallen was in between my friend's car and my home.
I looked outside in the snow and realized I had reached a dead end. Losing the money inside was the least of my concerns. I was worried about my licence, credit cards etc And although I could easily cancel everything and get a new driver's licence, I thought what a pain.
As embarassing as it was to pray for something so small, I decided to do so anyway. While on my knees and next to my bed, I started my prayer my communication. Dear Heavenly Father, I know there are much bigger problems in the world than my lost wallet, and I will understand if this is too trivial for you to address but I have done everything in my power and I can't find it. If you can help me, I would really appreciate it but its ok if you don't because I know this is such a trivial matter. I ask this humbly in Jesus name. My words were the least of my communication as I recall.
My heart, my feelings, my intellect, will and my faith were 100% there. My body langauge was speaking as well. I remember my face and upper body contorting as I as embarassed to ask. And as I prayed, I knew He heard me and that He was there. I felt HIM. As soon as I finished the prayer, I paused and felt warmth and peace envelope me.
A thought then spontaneously came to my mind "Gosh it would be so nice if someone would find my wallet." Minutes later the phone rang and the voice on the other line said "Are you Angela.."and I interjected and said "Yes and you found my wallet right?" "Yes" she said a little perplexed.
I proceeded to ask her where she found it? She said in the snow outside Green St, which is where I lived and where I searched for it. We arranged to meet, and I thanked her. My wallet was intact.
Looking back, the intimacy with God was the best reward of the whole experience. I was humble, vulnerable, and yielding to His will and He was gracious enough to help me by communicating the answer that was shortly to come. It is my hope that we all learn to lean on God, even when our approach isn't quite right or the answer doesn't turn out the way we'd like. For it is in the sweet intimacy with God, our heavenly Father, that we find the real power of prayer. Happy Father's Day!
R. I. P. Jean Heimann
3 years ago