As usual confession was the catalyst of reflection, honesty about not just the bad but the good and a focus on what to do next. The sacraments in the church are a gift...despite all the ugly, the short sightedness both in the church leaders and with our own judgements...their is grace....their is baby Jesus.
The rest of the day was wonderful with many unexpected blessings as well as a sweeter Christmas Eve than I anticipated. One of the reflections during Advent was about John the Baptist leaping for joy and dancing when he noticed the Ark carrying God...Mary carrying Jesus. The question was asked what makes you dance and leap for joy. I did not quite have an answer at the time. Last night....a very small and unexpected event happened that answered that for me. My heart leapt for joy and I would have danced...but it would have been rude toward my lovely guest.
What a joy that is to leap for joy. For me sometimes..the thing, event or person that brings the most joy...also brings untold fear. Perhaps that is also divine..to long for God, for Christ being born..is one thing but to actually encounter..joy and fear...perhaps awe exponentially is fear...but how wonderful to never be too old for those beautiful emotions. What makes you leap for joy and dance? If you don't know..wait for it..it will come.:-)
So one resolve for sure this Christmas season that I will continue is to not let too much awe prevent me from acting..and I pray to continue to have the inspiration but when that next step seems too daunting ..its a joy to know that I can get down on my knees and pray..to the Baby King Sent to Love Boldly.