Confession is Good for the Soul

This was penned a while ago and I have added and edited a bit.   

As we enter into ordinary time after celebrating Corpus Christi where we as Catholics not only accept but celebrate and are grateful and humbled in Jesus hard saying take eat my body and drink my blood. John 6: 53-60. We are reminded of that special and most precious grace of receiving the Eucharist. 

Another grace and a habit I incorporated during Lent that yielded lots of good fruit was Confession or in the Church they call it Reconciliation. As Jesus said whose sins you forgive are forgiven and whose sins you retain are retained. John 20:21-23

Aside from feeling a weight lifted once you confess, I found also a grace in getting help to become better or holier.

We all have shortcomings that are part and parcel of who we are but it is good to recognize that and what pushes the buttons and how you can manage them the next time it happens.

I am not very proud of my two weaker attributes. One is my temper and the other my stubbornness. Channeled properly this can fuel action and gives courage when needed but not channeled properly it can leave some pretty ruffled feathers and wreak havoc on me and in turn God when I become frustrated at repeated attempts to fill my needs.

A book called Rediscovering Catholicism by Matthew Kelly has been floating around the Parishes during Christmas and Easter. It is mainly geared toward lapsed Catholics..you know the ones  that only go at Christmas and Easter. However, I found a lot of things that apply to me. Conversion is a slow and painful process...especially for those of us who are stubborn.:-)

I started reading it and found some great wisdom in it. I particularly liked the section on Confession and the struggles we have with it. The excuses we come up with are kind of funny. Well why do I have to go to a priest to confess when I can go straight to God? Or, I will only confess to a random priest that does not know me. As if the priest will think less of you if he does.

Mr. Kelly points out astutely that if we don't confess to a priest, we rarely will do it on our knees. Also, confessing to someone who knows you is more beneficial because they do know you and can help counsel you...especially when you struggle with the same issues. He made a great analogy. You don't go to a doctor you don't know when you are sick. You prefer someone who knows you so they know your history. The same would apply to a physician of the soul.

For me the priest who is getting to know me and is my regular confessor now is also my spiritual director. Because he knows my aspirations, dreams and heart ache..my confessions with him are powerful.

A few weeks ago,  I confessed my temper tantrum..my anger with God and how badly I treated myself and I balled. I was not only sorry, I know God loves me and that I love Him. 

Having someone well formed in the faith, like my spiritual director, who knows the difference between attachment and healthy relationships and the sanctity of a marital union has helped me feel validated and at least intellectually aware that I made the right decisions moving on in my recent relationships. It is just a sad fact it takes the heart a long time to catch up with that. I pray with God's grace that it will soon be free again. But in the meantime my heart has potent energy for the roles that will come my way with my artistic craft of acting.

Many blessing are now taking place because my focus is primarliy on the art now.

It is true, you dream, you set goals and you move forward...if it be God's will the doors will open. And if your dream and passion are strong enough and align with what God made you for and what he wants from you, you will wait a very long time for your dream to materialize..waiting on God and His will and His timing.

As a side note since that confession a few weeks ago...my heart has caught up, and I am so truly grateful there is now room at the inn.:-) God's grace is powerful....powerful indeed.

Let us remind ourselves to "Be patient for I am GOD and I do things for the good of you"...and avail ourselves to the graces of confession when we fall short and the grace to become better because...Confession is Good for the Soul.

Grow Up In Love

I sometimes dissect meanings of words to lead to some interesting viewpoints. Growing up is one that leads particular credence this season for me. It is my way of processing what happens as God unfolds love in my life. And this Thanksgiving holiday, I am grateful for the grace and insight of this phrase and where it has lead me to.

Growing up sometimes connotes what parents say to their children or what I have said about a past boyfriend. It can seem condescending or mean depending on the tone it is said in or it just a matter of fact. But rarely from my experience has it meant something unequivocally positive. 

Growing up can mean growing towards the heavens or expanding in a positive direction. Literally too we do grow up. But when it is meant for the inside...it can only mean a positive thing. We should always keep growing up..our soul, mind and heart expanding upwards towards infinity.

We all hold on to things and people out of fear and not love. We sometimes depend on parents long after we should depend on ourselves. We grasp and insist on our own way. Often those who claim to love us or that we claim to love the most choose their/our needs and wants over our beloveds. Those who claim to be in relationship will choose what they deem they want without consulting you in crisis moments. We or they too will recoil and withdraw in the face of that abandonment.

And its those times you realize both you and your beloved need to grow up. And sometimes it is apart and sometimes it is in relationship.

The guide should be love. Is it more loving to pull away or more loving to pull towards. Which choice will facilitate both parties growing up? If we pull towards family when they reject us or our beloved is that the most loving choice for both?

Will that allow you and the family member to grow up? It is hard to tease fear out of love but we must because it is by that purifying fire that we do indeed grow up and hopefully grow up in love.