The Challenges are a Blessing in Disguise

I read in someone's profile recently some wise words..behold the wonderment of life but know that there also challenges and that we can get thru them.

I dug deeper this week as it was one of my more challenging weeks with quite a few curve balls thrown my way.  In baseball, when you anticipate a curve ball then you can prepare but when you don't then you swing badly….but thats the beauty you reflect and you practice.:-)

And so I practiced self reflection, I had to to make sense of the pain. The event and circumstances is one thing but it's what is triggered in me that I looked at more deeply. What did I do well, how do I feel about what I did not do well? What was the unexpected result or blessing that came out of it? How can I be more gracious in my  actions/decisions when I make them and in my responses when I am caught by surprise and most importantly..how can I be gracious no matter what the result is?

It is easy to blame others..it is quiet another to embrace where they are at and where you at and what  you and they have done and then in dignity and with courage respond in kindness and decisively when it becomes clear how you want to respond. 

Reactions to an event that causes you harm are usually only necessary in an emergency or life threatening situation..but even then there is the grace of God giving you a choice on how to respond. And if you have time to think and to collect your emotions..take it.  Weigh it out. Their needs, your needs..what is fair..call on friends who give you wise input and then turn to the Lord if the still quiet voice has not spoken yet…decide and then act.

The result is many times not as bad as you initially think..you learn about the other person..you learn about yourself.  The result in the end probably led you to a desired outcome or to a more authentic place. The ones where you are in each others lives for a reason are blessed. The other's that are in each other's lives for a season are blessed and the one's designed to accompany you for the journey are blessed.

All are blessings and we have to be thankful..we each help or helped each other grow.

Our Lord and Savior is the model of how to handle challenges. The pain was real and the result seemed horrible. However, his human nature grew in love for us as his divine nature and calling lead him down a unique and loving path.  He received the greatest glory and worship in the end. And the result for us too is an undeserved and huge blessing…perhaps our biggest blessing of all. A self-sacrificial love that if we accept and walk in HIS path will lead us to a joy filled life, the greatest aid to face our challenges and an army here on earth and in heaven ready to assist you on this journey and get you safely to an even better place with an even greater promise in the end.:-)

As we start the month of February, I think of January and embrace the changes in me and my life and I give thanks to God and those who touched me this month in kind and not so kind ways.:-) 

I look forward to the Superbowl, to Lent, to the day of love and friendship and embrace this glorious journey where we are invited to grow…painful yes..but it is the most loving thing we can do for others and ourselves. Thank you Lord for gifting us with this life full of blessings and wonder, full of love and full of challenges…all for your glory and our sanctification.

Reflect and be grateful when challenges come for they are a blessing in disguise.

Sometimes We Need the Desert

I was struggling this month for a theme. Sometimes the events don't directly inspire a theme and then it just comes.

This month has many events I have written about in the past like Epiphany, MLK day and of course the Walk for Life in SF and DC.

But as decisions and transitions always do for me, I self reflect. At first I do what comes naturally for me as an extrovert, I embrace the people in my path and around me. It energizes me and invigorates me and I feel a zest and purpose. It is also my way of processing. Once I gain experience in a certain realm, I generally make decisions instinctually. My instincts are rarely wrong.

I think hope and positivity sometimes gets me into trouble. I always am creative at finding solutions and finding ways to grow but we all have our limits. Humbly, I have found my own. Does it mean I can never outgrow them? No. But it does mean I must respect them and honor them. Love indeed is powerful and can conquer all but I again think that in my zeal to want Love, I try to make it happen.

I try to find the ingredients and the timing and the head tries to make things work and here in is the rub. The head tries to make it work when in essence it is God that has either gifted Love or has not. Still blessings abound as we learn and grow.

Humbly, I now have fairly unbendable standards as I patiently wait for God to guide and gift. Yes fun times and connecting with people on deep levels and serving and learning are all so valuable.

But I find I also desperately need those moments, longer moments when I go into the desert as Jesus did to be with God. The answers there in that silence speak louder than any words can.

I think many social movements that change society start in those desert moments. I think the depth of an epiphanic event deepens in those desert moments. 

Jesus gave us the model.  Festive , as some despairingly called Him a glutton and a drunkard, who also was with the masses to help and heal but then would retire into the desert.

God bless you on your journey toward connecting, communing and having joy. But when you need to as well, you might find like me that sometimes we need the desert.

In Anticipation of the Holiest of Nights

As we approach Christmas Day....Christmas Eve is that night of wonder. The night of anticipation as the wise men headed toward the Messiah the King of Kings...wrapped in swaddling clothes.

A beautiful helpless baby awaits in Bethelehem. I am sure this baby-God was different and special. I wonder how developed his motor skills were and what kind of assimilation HE had.

I say this because I as a mere mortal have many memories of being a baby. I have memories of seeing and feeling my arms gyrating about as I had little control over them. I remember feeling as if my head had some cotton in it.

I remember many cynical thoughts and the desire to control my environment and my body.

So how was my Lord? I can't even begin to imagine. John the Baptist lept in Elizabeth's womb at perceiving Jesus at scarcely what  was weeks or 1 to 2 months old in Mary's womb.

Amazing facts were relayed in oral tradition and the written, but they are not unfathomable. This holy night makes me reflect on how Mary gave birth. Without a hospital or a midwife, she gave birth. How was this childbirth different and how was it the same?

So many questions about the holiest night that ever was. When God became Man. He started differently, with no male DNA but a heavenly one had begotten him. He had Mary's DNA and her DNA was not typical either. As Catholic's we believe she was immaculately conceived. The only human to be since the fall. And this so she could house God in man. True man and True God...something simple and yet hard to comprehend.

But this miracle was our biggest Joy. We saw God act in the flesh. We saw him heal, raise the dead, pray fervently, commune with sinners and teach with parables, with authority and humility. We saw him finally embrace the ultimate sacrifice of love. Not just death, but humiliation, emotional, physical mental and spiritual suffering. Thru that act he triumphed and we win because of it.

But I am getting ahead of myself. Tonight we await. The birth of a babe, a sweet, dependent and humble baby. We await that magical moment of mother and child embracing and Joseph hovering in protection. Joseph was destined to be Jesus adoptive father...the lineage predicted it so.

And so this most holy of nights, I reflect on this holy family and I am so grateful and humbled at all their faith and sacrifice. Their love for God, prepared them to love each other and have the most awesome responsibility and privilege to take care of and nurture their Savior.

And Love does that doesn't it? It saves us, it redeems us. If Salvation came thru a babe, then we are now the heirs. We are now responsible and privileged to help continue the salvific and redemptive plan. As we graft ourselves to HIM, we continue HIS work.

And what a wondrous start as we are born again in remembering HIS birth and waiting in awe, vulnerability and humility. We are graced to witness God and HIS Love with unspeakable joy. May this awe filled and holy Christmas Eve grace us with the gift of deep abiding Salvific and Redemptive Love. 

May we continue HIS plan, HIS play, HIS art in the unfolding drama and joy that Love is. Let us humbly await and embrace the Great "I am" in preparation to follow and surrender to his Lead of Love with even deeper grace In Anticipation of the Holiest of Nights.

Give Thanks for it is Right and Just

So I am doing the Southern California equivalent thing with my blog.:-)  I am at Manhatten Beach awaiting a sunset and its 70 degrees the Sunday before Thanksgiving. Truly I am blessed. I am blessed to call two marvelous places home in what arguably is the best state in the country. Which segways me into the theme of this blog.

Last year I made a new years resolution to attend daily mass. Of course I have missed a few but by and large and certainly of late I have made it pretty much every single time. And why do I mention this?

P: "Let us give thanks to the Lord our God." C: "It is right and just." P:  It is truly right and just, our duty and our salvation always and everywhere to give you thanks through your beloved son Jesus Christ." These are the words I utter and hear daily at mass. 

These words are so deep and true that I can not give them justice in a simple blog. Simply put we are designed to give thanks and yielding to this desire brings us joy and conversely thwarting that is to our detriment. 

It is great that we have a national holiday reminding us to give thanks. But I would suggest it should be a daily reminder and even a moment to moment reminder. Every breath we take is a gift, every meal, every experience, every person and every good thought is a gift:-) Imagine giving thanks for our good thoughts too? 

I am reminded of two real life experiences that I have been graced to be acquainted with. One is an Australian man named Nick Vujicic who was born without arms and legs. Certainly not the ideal physical condition. But it’s what he does with that is what shows is what reality is and that gratefulness will lead us to that heavenly kingdom. I have attached a link on him as my description would not do him justice. Here is one of his briefest videos. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKTg_INHgpc

Then saw an African American young man who was born without arms and had a dream of being an engineer for a racing company. He achieved his goals and learned to type with his feet. He was grateful for his gifts and pursued them. Here is a brief your tube story on him. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-BephrXDwY

Could it be as simple as that? Be grateful for your gifts and give thanks and praise by maximizing the most. The alternative is focusing on what you lack and  feeling badly about it or complaining about it.  Fixing it you say? I would dare say that is a gift...fixing what you or others lack. We can resolve to help those who celebrate Thanksgiving only by our generosity or praying for those who don’t or can’t celebrate it, even if they want to. That is being thankful.

When we tune into the Lord the giver of all good gifts and give HIM thanks and praise our lives become a mirror of that. And what greater joy could our Heavenly Father have than to see you using your gifts and asking for his graces. What you end up doing for HIM and his Glory will in turn glorify you. I would dare say HE delights in this.

So this thanksgiving when you gather around table with the Turkey and the trimmings with family and the friends...pause for a moment and give thanks to God for so many daily things..even the things that seem like they are not good..for behold HE can turn any situation around for your good if you let Him. Invite God in, in your joys and in your pains. It does not matter whether you got yourself into the mess by your own fault or if you are the victim of a senseless act or born a certain way...invite HIM in and what follows from you will surprise you. And please don’t forgot to give God HIS due and Give Thanks.

Choose the Gospel because it brings Joy always

Do you know you cannot serve two masters? Money or Love. Fear or Love. If you serve God and Love...the rest falls into place.

A theme that has come up often lately is preaching and acting one way at mass and religious activities and then acting different in different settings outside in the world. We can even preach to ourselves but if we don't truly believe it or embrace it with our hearts, this dichotomy will happen.

I think as humans we lie to ourselves too much. Sometimes we lie to ourselves and put false limits on our abilities and capacity to love. Sometimes we lie to ourselves and say the behavior of loving neighbor as self or loving our enemy brings joy but our practical lives more often say the opposite. Sometimes we are open about our gratitude and praise of God in religious circles, on facebook but not on the job or when we are around people we do not think share our faith.

I am guilty of this in spades. But the beauty is that if it is true, (hint: it is), then you can change and test the concept out. Test it out when it is least likely to work or in a new situation or as a new reaction. Keep it up for an hour, then for a day and then a week and see what happens. If your new behavior rewards you by feeling peace, love and perhaps a better relationship then your belief will change..ever so slowly but surely.

That deep belief that just knows. Like the belief you have that the sun will rise again the next day. Do you ever have doubt the sun will rise? I think deep belief that has been rewarded is real belief but it has to happen as consistently as the sun rising every day.

It does not always mean you will be rewarded with expected or external outcomes 100% of the time. But I have a feeling the internal peace will always be there. Because the reward is predicated on what works internally for internal motivations, the external will be there and it comes and goes but your behavior will bring you peace. 

It is also such a nice way to treat ourselves. Not believing we are our mistakes. Making reparations and repenting when we deceive ourselves and/or others by preaching one action and doing another, making a promise based on a feeling and failing to live it up to it, breaking our commitments and promises and the list goes on.

We have to be honest and then we have to choose to love by how that looks for the moment.

I had a conversation recently with someone on how some people who claim to have no faith oftentimes are humbler, kinder and better at living the faith then we who are religious. We both said simultaneously...how embarrassing.

Too dating has taught me this. It does not matter if someone goes to church weekly, daily, says the rosary every night or goes to adoration every day. This in and of itself does not make you a truly loving person, a person who knows their heart and can speak truth from it and live up to it. A person who sees the dignity of another and has the courage to do the right thing. It has not been true of me nor the gentlemen I have dated.

So what I am not advocating is giving up religious practice but to bring that practice into your life fully. When you think no-one is seeing you or when you are faced with a less than a holy action from a random stranger or someone close to you. If you don't have the strength, say a prayer.

Once we are honest about our own hypocrisy we can then turn to God and  He can help us make the changes that are sometimes small ones and sometimes big ones. Take your words seriously, take your actions seriously, and take your thoughts seriously. Put them all on God. 

God's grace can cover a lot and Jesus has indeed redeemed us but if we really believe in the heavenly banquet then all the more reason to share it and let the love flow. It is the most beautiful gift you can give to God. Receiving his love and forgiveness and loving Him and then mirroring that love and forgiveness to others and by consequence to yourself and getting it back. Even if all you can do is pray for someone because you are afraid to love more, because there is a riff, because someone is your enemy..its a start and God will give you strength for more. And the biggest challenge is loving when you suffer or see others suffer, turning more toward God more toward love...there will still be joy when the tears clear.

Have faith the future is bright here and our eternal destiny is in an even more beautiful and loving place with the Almighty who is Love and designed us for this. Choose the good news, the Gospel because it brings Joy always.

Angels, Our Heavenly Messengers

Today is the feast of Saints Michael, Gabriel and Raphael the Archangels in the universal church. This day brings a smile to my face as my name also reflects the angels.

I believe we are all at one time or another in each others lives angels. We send heavenly messages to each other. On the flip side, and I don't wish to dwell on this now, we can often times be messengers from the opposing team.

But it is the heavenly messengers that bring light, love and hope. Last night, my new friend Michelle brought a heavenly message to me. The truth of our hearts we can most assuredly deny and do our own will. But God is the author of our hearts and of love and HIS will will be done or it is to our detriment. We must simply open, surrender and agree.

As my friend and I were discussing, to love is not an easy call. For both man edify's woman and woman teaches man how to love. A man and a woman love on a superficial realm in the beginning. He loves with his eyes and the emotions that flow from his heart based on that and the woman's qualities. The woman loves what she hears and receives from the man. She loves his words and his gifts of love and service.

This is all wonderful and necessary but the call to love is deeper. It reaches into the heart of truly putting the other before yourself. This means that other important relationships and  other things that are important to you take second place. For it is really how a new creation is born. It is a hard call. We all have things we hold dear to our heart. And I dare say those same things is what is an obstacle in our relationship with God.

We are to love God first and then everyone else and everything else. It is not based on conditions or in certain circumstances, it is absolute. But we put our work, our  hobbies, our money, our children, our parents, our passions, our intellect, our pride or our self preservation first. Our treasures are all unique and not necessarily just one. 

I know the one story many people have a stumbling block with is the story of Abraham and Isaac. (Genesis 22:1-9; For an interesting analysis http://christianity.about.com/od/Old-Testament/a/JZ-Sacrifice-Of-Isaac.htm) God had promised Abraham many things thru Isaac and yet was now asking to slay him.

In Abraham's view he had faith that God would reconcile the act somehow because of God's earlier promises and so he was going to follow through having full faith that God would vindicate him. It was a test of faith. As we know an angel came and stopped Abraham from slaying Isaac.

Which brings us to tests. God tested Abraham. Whether we like it or not tests help ferret out loyalty and trust. It is not conditional or based on the circumstances.

How many of us would pass this test? I dare say not many even if God had earlier promised blessings predicated on Isaac living. We would rationalize that God does not work this way, that it must be satan giving this suggestion and we are mistaking it for God. 

The thing is God wants us to surrender and trust him. Of course He does not want what is bad for us but what is good. And sometimes what is good is disguised in what we think we don't want. None of us want to suffer, to give up what is dear to us, and yet loves call is that and it is for our greater good. 

Abraham's acts of faith gave him even greater faith and his honor multiplied. He is the Father of the faithful and by Jesus referred to him as "Your father Abraham rejoiced to see My day, and he saw it and was glad." Obviously the sacrifice of his son was also a symbolic of God's love for us where by Jesus his only begotten was sacrificed for us. And yet again the glory and triumph  of Jesus resurrection and to whom every knee will bow was the reward.

We have to trust. I have to trust that God's will will be done and I must just surrender my heart to him and trust that the love he has put there will be for my greater good.

Which bring me back to my friend Michelle and the call to the vocation of marital love which obviously happens before the marital vows are spoken. For God brings two souls together for His purpose and those two can not have any other person or thing before that love or it can not be. It does not depend on the circumstances or conditions. Love is a gift from God and we either surrender to it or impose our own will when the trials get to hard or the tests are too great.

Love is not a legal contract or dependent on where the relationship is at. It is all encompassing and a purging. It purges us of our pride, our other interests, our work and other attachments. In our Catholic ceremony the priest is just a witness to the public profession of love before God. God brought them together and what God brought together no man should try to divide. That love was there before the vows and the vows simply make it formal and the bodies then reflect what the souls already know, the self surrender to one another and in that self surrender open to the gift of God love and sometimes children.

Marriage is a symbol or a sacrament that mirrors our relationship with God. The new creation puts God first. It is not two individuals putting God first but a new creation of one with two members putting God first and by natural extension each other.

Do we naturally love this way? Yes and no. Yes I think God call's us in every stage of our life to love but our fears which breed our pride often times cloud the right thing to do in love.

And this brings me back to angels. We can invoke their help in prayer and supplication. We can pray to the others guardian angel for help in helping them guide their way.

And we must trust that those angels have very special heavenly messages for us and it is up to us to listen and surrender and follow because we trust God and His plan. Thank you God, Our Heavenly Father, for Angels, Our Heavenly Messengers.

Begin the Dream by Letting Go

Sometimes the most painful experiences teach us the most. Conventional wisdom and listening to others when you know deep in you that love does not work this way but you follow it anyway help in the process forward. The process of trusting yourself and when God speaks to you becomes the most important voice to hear.

This theme of letting go is a constant. Especially for women raised in a take charge culture. In work and in many aspects of life,  logic and the knowledge of human nature has guided me. But oddly when it comes to relationships,  my logic and knowledge of human nature seems to go awry.

Somehow personal relationships wake up in me a tenacity when I am attached and I create hope. And a suspension of disbelief happens as it happens in movies, except this is real life. It is my life.

When all is said and done and the dust settles, the truth becomes clear. And the illusions fade away. 

But this is a good thing. Grounded in the here and now, even though I know I am just passing through this life, makes me realize that for matters of the heart---I have to discern and evaluate and weigh before I embark on that magical journey of dating. And even after that guarding my heart until a man proves himself worthy. These checks will weed out the impostors.

Sometimes too while waiting on other career dreams accidents can wake us up  to embracing what is really important and letting go of the rest. It finally helps us to really pursue our deeper dreams and move forward. 

Sometimes letting go means letting God give you really good gifts and treating yourself. After all we are supposed to love our neighbors as ourselves and so we start with just love of self.

Letting go can really mean giving yourself and God the freedom to give you the great gifts. And sometimes those gifts come in a manner you don't see and in unexpected places.

Here is to letting go and letting God give you the great gifts. But be wary of impostors both within you and without. And as you navigate the world and our humanity, listen to the still small voice and let go of the rest of the noise. What is truly meant for you will be made manifest. And in the meantime treat yourself to the gifts that you can prudently and begin the dream by letting go!