God's Complete Command

A few weeks ago I began a journey at my church with their expanded version of Gallup's "Living your Strengths" book. The Clifton Strenghtfinder assessment yielded my top 5 themes as Command, Input, Activator, Connectedness and Self Assurance. This week's blog will focus on command.

As I researched the theme of command, I was naturally led to the theological source first. Most of us, whether religious or not, have heard of the ten commandments.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ten_Commandments.

Jesus simplified them into two commandments. An excerpt from wikepedia states: When asked what is the greatest commandment, Jesus is portrayed by the Gospels of Mark[12:28–34] and of Matthew[22:34-40] as stating that the first two commandments, and the greatest, are
1.One should love God with one's entire heart, soul, mind, and strength
2.One should love one's neighbour as one would love oneself

There are many ways to look at the same thing and commandments are no different. Commandments have been softened to mean the "golden rule" or "guidelines on how to live joyfully and peaceably." God wants us to be joyful and so He generously told us what it takes to be joyful. It would make sense since He designed us, and if we are in His image he would know what is required to makes Him and us joyful.

But what does commandment mean? Well according to Meriam Webster, it simply means to command, an edict or an imperative (religious term). So what does command mean? Again, Merriam Webster defines command as : 1: to have or exercise direct authority : govern, 2: to give orders 3: to be commander, 4: to dominate as if from an elevated place.

Hmm..to exercise authority, to dominate from an elevated place, to give orders. It makes sense God is authoritative, since He is the author of everything and everyone. However, people have been granted authority too; the government, police, teachers, parents etc. If we have issues with authority then we will reject it in all forms and simultaneously reject any authority we may be granted individually. But this is food for thought for another blog.

This theme of command and the concept of authority becomes very personal for me. Of the five themes, command ranked number one for me. This agrees with my experience and what friends shared with me. In acknowledging that it is such a part of who I am, the command theme has and will come out consciously and unconsciously. When it is honed and directed consciously, it can be a great asset to others and simultaneously give me peace. However, while choosing to hone and be conscious of my command characteristics seems the best course of action overall, it may not always be what God deems best every time. Sometimes I have to accept that to challenge, take charge and even let loose at times is what I meant to to do, popular or not. It will also put me on the firing line on controversial subjects.

I'll end this reflection with John 2:15-17.

He made a whip out of chords and drove them all out of the temple area, with the sheep and oxen, and spilled the coins of the money-changers and overturned their tables, and to those who sold doves he said, "Take these out of here, and stop making my Father's house a marketplace." His disciples recalled the words of scripture, "Zeal for your house will consume me."

Jesus' love here puts God first, the first commandment we are to observe. The first three of the ten commandments all pertain on how we are to love God. Jesus' putting God first is what led him to love us so much and suffer and die for us. However, this particular scripture where Jesus wrath is displayed in the temple is often misunderstood, not accepted, criticized and skipped. It may be that what we often skip has great pearls of wisdom. It is my prayer that we search for, acknowledge, trust and eventually Love God's complete Command.

A Measure of Our Passion

This week, as almost all my weeks this year, has been full of daily surprises and joys. That is because I am getting back in touch and following childhood passions, and most importantly letting God lead the way. Wednesday, I reflected a lot on passion. It was the day I was one of hundreds of extras in the Matt Damon film "Contagion".

It was a painful day. I can think of little worse than waiting around all day in a state of constant ambiguity. The surroundings consisted of a large tent where we were housed in and picnic tables and benches for us to eat and sit. Outside the sun, rain and wind seemed to rhythmically dance all day. Our redemption was plenty of chips, cookies, bagels, fruit, and coffee and drinks.

Yet, hundreds of people were choosing to endure all of this. While waiting, some talked to the crew, some talked to others they were sitting next to, and some even laid their heads on the picnic tables to sleep. Why? We were getting paid but it wasn't much. Was it a fascination with perhaps getting discovered? Was it the thrill of being in a major movie no matter how small the part? Was it a chance at getting to see someone famous? Was it the thrill of a new experience and the adrenalin of the unknown? Perhaps, all of these and more were the reasons for the hundreds that were there.

The sacrifices I made seem to pale given some of the stories I heard. One gal was missing her sister's 30th birthday, and seem to war a bit with it. I heard of another woman who came all the way from Sonoma, had rented a motel room told all her friends she was going to be in the film and was terribly excited. All this for what? They and a lot us were never filmed. The weather, the unpredictability and the organic nature of shooting a film makes this the case sometimes.

Amazingly, up until the point we were told filming was done for the day, most everyone was patient, civil and I dare say happy to be there. I began to think and talk about our incredible patience. Are we near as patient on the road, waiting in line at the store, waiting in most any occasion? I don't think so. So our passion allows us to endure, sacrifice and, yes, even suffer for that we which we desire.

This is a good starting point to the query of what is passion? Some common examples are romantic passion, creative passion and Christ's passion. Their difference seems obvious, but is there a thread that's the same?

To begin to answer this perhaps we should start by researching the origin of the word passion. According to wikepedia, the etymological origins of the word lie in the Greek verb paschō, to suffer. The Latin word passio[2] is used with reference to Christ's mortal suffering in the Vulgate. Here, the Greek and Latin roots refer to suffering and Christ's suffering respectively.

Now lets look at Merriam-Webster's modern definition of passion; (Often capitalized) a : the sufferings of Christ between the night of the Last Supper and his death; b : an oratorio based on a gospel narrative of the Passion; 2 obsolete : suffering; 3 : the state or capacity of being acted on by external agents or forces; 4 a (1) : emotion (2) plural : the emotions as distinguished from reason b : intense, driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction c : an outbreak of anger; 5 a : ardent affection : love b : a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept c : sexual desire d : an object of desire or deep interest.

Number 2 is interesting. This original definition of passion meaning suffering is now obsolete. But is it? Number 3 happened as we waited on possibly being filmed as an extra in the movie. We were acted upon by external agents or forces. 4 and 5 are common uses of the word passion. Emotions that are distinguished from reason. It follows that this emotion/ feeling/conviction is intense, driving and overmastering. It would have to be in order for it to overpower your reason. By virtue of this definition our passions can cause suffering because they subvert reason and impel us to surrender and endure the consequences. I have to laugh given the story I started out with.

Passion by its very nature makes us endure things we normally would not want to. Christ endured because of his Love for God and us. He chose and surrendered to His father's will. When we love or feel passionately about someone or something, we endure. We are long suffering, patient, driven and surrender to the higher call. It seems obvious what we choose to surrender to is of great implication not only to ourselves but others. It is also seems obvious we suffer with whatever passion our heart leads us to choose.

The good news is passion allows us to happily endure because the end is so desired. Our passion creates meaning in our lives and make us feel alive. Passion keeps us coming back despite obstacles. Whether we are being rejected by a date or friend, repeatedly failing to make a project come to fruition, or are faced with the repeated choice of having to die to some form of self for a higher call, the question remains the same. Do we keep pursuing the object of our affection or do we turn elsewhere? In answering our question, turn to God who created our passions. It is not that we desire too much but, often, that we desire too little. In surrendering, let Him increase the measure of our passion.

Then God made relationships, and they are very good.

The last in the series of Father Tom's talk focuses on our human relationships. I never knew the word relationships would grow to be such a loaded concept. It connotes one of the most basic of human needs, and, yet it can also illicit memories of strife and pain. There are a variety of reasons this may be the case. In this blog, I will focus on one critical aspect. Relationships can either succeed or fail.

There are both positive and negative consequences our actions impose on relationships. We make choices in all relationships whether conscious or unconscious. While it is true that all relationships are unique, according to Father Tom we have the same two choices in everyone of them. That is we either make choices of faith and love or choices of fear and abandonment. It seems obvious what the consequences of both would be, and, yet some of us, some of the time operate as if those consequences don't exist.

All healthy relationships have an overwhelming dose of faith and love. These overwhelming doses can handle the occasional fear and abandonment. However, few relationships can recover when fear and abandonment become the main course of action. Sadly, Father Tom points out there is a point of no return when you go down this path too far and too long.

Not suprisingly, we still look for, cultivate and have hope in the next relationship. The truth is we need relationships. Without relationships Love can't grow. Some forms of relationships are: relationship with God; complementary marriage in both body and spirit; intimate friendship; service in community; and even relationship with pet.:-)

Perhaps, some may point out that putting forth faith and love is risky business, because there is no guarantee the other person will opt the same way. This is true. However, we can feel good about the way we approach relationships regardless of the outcome. We only have today, and today is always a good day to have faith and love in all our relationships. We have no control over tomorrow, and to sabotage today because of tomorrow's fear and abandonment puts us in a less than pleasant place today. Not to mention that we are creating a less than pleasant tomorrow.

The alternative guarentees us failure. In our quest to protect ourselves from pain some of us: create a self protective wall over time to prevent disappointment; try to change the nature of relationships; expect relationships to fail; or try to pretend we don't really need relationships. If you are creative enough, I am sure you can think of countless of other ways to protect yourself. Doing these things, however, is almost a guarantee that realtionships will cause pain. Our hearts are not open, and Love can't grow in a closed heart.

As fragile as our hearts are, they are more resilient than we think. If we are designed to Love, it would have to be so. The fragility is what makes us appreciate our relationships and enriches our lives in its development. Disappointment, hurt feelings and misundersatndings will happen. Still, we are faced with the the same choice. Do we have choose faith and love or do we become afraid and abandon.

In the past, I have tried to follow my heart. When that didn't work according to my own view, I would harden my heart and let ego dictate my final course of action. One example is when I unknowingly hurt a friend's feelings. I could tell she was upset but didn't know why. I asked and she told me she felt abandoned when I didn't get up from the theater and leave with her when she suddenly felt sick.

The story for me went this way. She mentioned she hated the play and asked if I wanted to leave. I agreed the play was bad, but I also had plans to meet friends after the show. She then said she felt sick and was leaving, and I decided to stay.

She later told me she was upset because if the roles had been reversed, she said she would have left with me. I apologized and acknowleged where she was coming from. She, however, needed space. After some time, she still couldn't get past it and called the friendship quits. I hung in there for a little while thinking it just meant a change in the relationship. When the silence became too long, according to my view, I called it quits too. I realize now it didn't have to fail. Too, there is always hope to resurrect the friendship. The only choice I have is over my own hands and with God that is all you need.

There are other relationships that have a more drastic change. We have less control when someone physically dies, or is so sick it seems they have a limited capacity for relationship. I would argue that even in these cases, although the relationship changes, it does not have to fail or die.

One example is my relationship with my mother. She has been gone physically since I was 16 just shy of 17. The intense grieving lasted about 5 years. However, now I realize that the grieving never completely left because I kept believing our relationship had failed and died. It's true that she is not physically here with me. However, every time I remember her or I pray for her or greet her in prayer, I can ackhowledge she still exists. My faith also tells me she will exist physically again.

I now also look forward to celebratring her life and the impact she had on me and others on key dates: like the day she graduated to the next life; mother's day; and her birthday. I wonder, too, how growing closer with God allows my mother to touch me again and makes it easier to recognize there is still a relationship there. Choosing faith and Love(God) ensures that my relationships live on and grow.

Relationships don't have to fail. We just give up so easily. When we give up so easily on relationships, we give up on Love(God). The good news is all relationships can be resurrected:-). It may not happen quickly, but thats ok, we have lots of time when you have forever. We have to remember that although we may turn our back on God (Love), God(Love) does not turn His back on us.

God seeks for us even if our hearts turn hard. The same is true in our human relationships. The other person's or our own heart may be hard. However, if we are called to be in that relationship, in Love(God), we can pray for him or her. We can reach out continually over time. Love trumps ego, and this is blissfully so.

For relationships to fill the desires of our hearts, Love has to flow back and forth and grow. This necessarily means that God(Love) is involved for He authored Love's growth through relationship. Have faith! God made relationships and they are very good.:-)

El día del amor y la amistad: To be loved just the way you are

Ah, St. Valentine's Day is approaching. I can hear the arrow flying now. It is taking a windy journey through the stratosphere looking for open hearts. From my experience, it lands on the fertile hearts of 5 year olds' often.

The following historical article, on the origin and anomalous development of Valentine's day, states that teachers are recepients of the most Valentine's cards and gifts. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine's_Day After 7 years of teaching, I can attest to that. This years Valentine's will be sparse by comparison:-).

5 year olds' can teach us a lot about love. They are in the present almost always and are in awe of everyone and everything. They trust implicitly and love unconditionally. They say what's on their minds, which is usually what is in their hearts. They are easily influenced, are quick to forgive and exude enthusiasm. They are so very easy to fall in love with.It's their honesty with everything which can drive you mad and endear you at the same time.

Here we can connect with Father Tom's next theme. From the prior blog, we explored what can happen if we feel and believe in God's unconditional love. If God loves us unconditionally, we can feel safe to be honest with Him, ourselves and others. We can own our anger, fear and desire to control. In the moment we notice these thoughts and emotions ruling us, we can choose to surrender it to God.

Father Tom gave us an example from his own life. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Although the chances were small he would die from this, all the people he had known in his past had died from the same condition. Hence, he feared he would die from this as well. Instead of letting this rob him of today and tomorrows joy, he chose to admit it and surrender it to God. He said, God if I am meant to die of cancer then I will accept it. By releasing control his fear dissipated. Father Tom made it clear to us that he did not want to die nor did he not take steps to be healed. He was simply acknowledging his powerlessness over his fear and was letting God be God.:-)

We all have our battles but we don't have to fight them alone. If we invite God into them with us, we have a greater chance at peace. After all, inviting Love in can only be good for us.:-)

This Valentine's day, no matter what love you celebrate, celebrate it with an open and honest heart. You are worthy of love just as you are. So, let God and others love you just the way you are.

The consequences of God's divine love

Competing themes this week as a lot happened. The retreat at my parish given by Fr Tom Allender provided much food for thought, and so I will devote this blog to his retreat. Part of my new years resolution turned out to be the theme of the 3 day talk/retreat.

Diverging from the rest of my blogs, much of what I share in this blog will be a reflection of what I heard from Fr.Tom. Fr, Tom said, if we believe in a God who loves conditionally, we will love ourselves and others this way. If we believe that God only is pleased with us, cares for us and guides us when we do good, then we will treat ourselves and others this way. If we believe in a God who punishes us with silence or distance or criticism and withdraws His love then we will reflect this type of love toward ourselves and others. This type of love makes us fearful of Gods' and other peoples reactions. We can't love unconditionally if we believe God does not love us unconditionally.

As I thought about this I thought about consequences. Consequences can be good or bad. Bad consequences result from poor choices or mistakes. There are consequences to mistakes we make but this does not equate us as being less worthy of being loved. Believing in Karma leaves us with a view of conditional love by the laws of the universe and hence a conditional love by our creator.

Our mistakes, however, are only a small fraction of who we are, and sometimes those mistakes can be a grace for us and others. Yet when we chose to define ourselves or others by these mistakes, then we are damning ourselves. Nowhere is this most evident then with those who are behind bars justly. Even after paying the consequences for their action, they are forever defined in terms of their mistake. I can think of no greater an injustice that is largely ignored. After all, Jesus was condemned a criminal and paid the consequence for his crime during his time.

Sometimes, though, even natural consequences are suspended. Most of us have heard of the chain smoker, like George Burns, who did not develop lung cancer early and die. Then there are those who are health nuts and take care of themselves and die early. If you have enough money you may have had a chance to escape a prison sentence. I am not advocating these actions but just illustrating a point. We can justly or unjustly suffer consequences or even be like Jesus and take on the consequences of others and suffer the penalty. The reality remains we are loved no less, and in some instances may need love even more.

We can see God's unconditional love for us as revealed by Jesus in scripture. Matthew 5:45
..so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46“For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47“If you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48“Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Here we are advised to be perfect just like our Father in Heaven is perfect for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good. In other words, He loves unconditionally. But all the reading in the world won't help if we don't really believe in our hearts that we are loved this way by our creator.

It would seem counter intuitive that our God who is unconditional love would not love us this way. We are created as beings who makes mistakes but we know that we are so much more than those mistakes. However, holding onto those mistakes can limit us from being the more that we are. And here is where forgiveness come in and why the Lords prayer helps us be in the moment. We let go of the past and live in the now. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lord's_Prayer

This gift of love is with us each and every moment. The more we embrace it the more we become love. And in the words of Father Tom, if we have love then we can give it away. We can't give what we don't have.

It is my prayer that in each moment we open our hearts to God's love, and especially in those moments where we feel we have made a mistake or feel wronged. What a beautiful world this will be when we become the consequences of God's divine love.

Gracing Past the Uncomfortable

This past Monday we celebrated Martin Luther King day. Many of us saw this as a welcome 3 day weekend. It was a pause from our structured and compensated work. However, this day was so rich with symbolism.

It is the story of how a courageous Christian man responded to suffering with a vision and endured through suffering. He paved the way to a richer joy by transforming our view of the world and healing us. It's true, we all can't be Martin Luther King nor would many of us want to be:-) Yet, we all do encounter suffering in our own lives and in the lives of those around us. The question becomes how do we respond? In this query I will focus on how we respond to others suffering. Although, how we respond to others suffering may be a reflection of how we respond to our own.

Our faith and belief system tend to focus on the positive and happy in life. Curiously, we often want to pretend or wish away not only challenges but downright suffering in life. Perhaps the challenge that has weaved in and out of my life the most is how to respond to suffering. Suffering can range from the homeless person who begs for money to a long lost friend who throws you a huge curve when they display their pain.

A friend I recently made had the insight to say that one of the reactions we have in order to shield ourselves from this suffering is to get angry and categorize people who are in unfortunate circumstances. I certainly have done this at times. Especially when it involves someone I know, and I see the folly in their ways. I tell them to pick themselves up and march on and do the right thing. I compare them to myself and say if I have done it in my circumstances then they surely can.

In this journey with God, two opportunities recently came to respond in a different way. Both were friends whom I had either little or no contact with. Before Christmas, I sent out a mass email to friends asking for their home addresses so I could send Christmas cards. One friend responded with an email that I will assign the pithy title of "life sucks" to. In this email, he elaborated that because of his mental health issues his wife and children wanted nothing to do with him and that he had no friends and can't afford the money for meds. Too, he believed that God was not helping despite his pleas. Ironically he also did not believe in hell.

I vividly remember reading this unwanted email and at first thinking..what the hec WHO is this?! Then upon realizing who it was, my wall came up and I thought..oh know I don't have time to deal with this. It's futile anyway, and he needs to get past this. With God's grace these initial thoughts melted away, and I responded by getting involved in his cry for help.

One thing led to another and I sent him a spiritual prescription for mental health. He informed me it was just his luck, that his printer couldn't print it up despite it being technically in perfect working order. I stepped it up and printed it myself and mailed that along with a book I thought he would enjoy as a Christmas gift. I also promptly enlisted the prayers of a friend and requested that her order add him by name to their prayer list. Recently, he has told me he feels he has been healed with the appropriate caveat that only time will tell. He also realized his family needed to heal before they could be reunited. It was heartwarming to be able to see him be able to say this.

The next friend emailed me out of the blue after 7 or 8 years apologizing for getting mad at me. Quite franciscally (feminine version of frankly), I couldn't recall what the incident was but knew it had something to do with my faith. I surmised he was going through some spiritual awakening. If I had thought further about at the time, I would have realized that these type of things don't just happen to an atheist unless grace through suffering has entered the picture.

As we exchanged some emails, he finally disclosed he had suffered a stroke a year and half ago and was not the man I knew. The judgements in my mind came. His disconnected emails and queries where a nuisance but I kept responding. We finally talked on the phone, and I realized his lonely plight and need. He had very limited family but plenty of money. With these circumstances, he had lots of interested helpers but few real friends. My heart opened and the communication flowed more easily. His recovery map is long and unpredictable but with prayers and grace, I have hope he will recover sooner rather later.

In developing friendships with those that were initially uncomfortable for me, I am finding transformation. What I thought would be too difficult is proving not only to be easier than I anticipated, but joyful in a very unique way. The bonds are special because the need opens a place in both hearts rarely reached in other ways. Consequently, we both are profoundly influenced.

Ironically, we deepen our joy as we recognize and embrace suffering. Certainly there is no joy in trying to ignore it. It may also be that the design of our wonderful world has ways to yield beautiful fruit even in things we find initially distasteful. May Jesus help us recognize Him in all of us, and especially when HE and we suffer. Joy awaits us as we are gracing past the uncomfortable.

Designed to Give

Most of us have heard of the seemingly trite saying it is better to give than to receive. Some of us already know this is true but some of us may not believe this is so. Its embarrassing to be immersed in a time where we focus on the receiving. We are lauded for looking out for ourselves. Perhaps one of the worst forms of focusing on the receiving is when you ask questions like what kind of presents am I getting? How much attention am I getting? How much love am I being shown? You focus on this too much and you can create a living hell.

Focusing on the receiving can be more subtle as well. Sometimes we don't want to put ourselves out by traveling too far or having to deal with uncomfortable circumstances unless remuneration is involved. In this culture, sometimes, we are looking for a windfall or take advantage of the goodwill of a friend. We want to negotiate the best terms at work, in relationship or with something we purchase or services we seek. So what are the fruits of this focus? When we succeed, although it may seem like we are winning, are we really satisfied? The questions can come..could I have gotten more? What else could I have gotten or what can I get next? You see the gap between more and infinity is so huge..you will never catch up!:-) Such is the plight of focusing on the receiving.

There are two types of giving as well, namely, the reciprocated and the charitable give. Examples of the charitable give do not include the tax-benefited Good Will donation:-.) Examples of the reciprocated kind are an exchange of gifts or alternating visits or dinners or anything that involves some equal give and take. Exchanging Christmas presents is nice, but that's not really what happened that first Christmas back in Bethlehem. The three wise men came bearing gifts. I don't remember them saying anything about Mary and Joseph giving gifts back let alone the baby Jesus doing so.

This past Christmas I sent Christmas cards, exchanged Christmas gifts, and celebrated in the company of friends. All of it was enjoyable including the giving and the receiving. However, deciding to volunteer at Little Sisters of the Poor and then magically and spontaneously deciding to pack some gifts for the residents there ended up being the most joyous part of my entire Christmas.

There are a variety of reasons why this might be. For one my giving was unexpected and assuredly unreciprocated. The only judgement and reaction to my gifts was one of surprise and gratitude. I gave without pretense and the motivation came straight from my heart. Not that this wasn't the case when I gave to family or friends but I did think a lot about how the gift will be received. I also at the very least thought subconsciously about what I may or may not receive. I'm sure I gave freely and lightly to the Little Sisters of the Poor for these and probably many other reasons.

Giving is a symbol of what we value, and it is obviously more than material. It can be in the form of our time, our care, our finances, our service and our love. Of course cultivating and caring for family and friends is important and in many ways more challenging than charitable giving. However, after my experience this past Christmas, I have to wonder if we are designed to receive the greatest joy in unreciprocated giving. And if so then why not share this joy with family and friends and invite them to celebrate in this joyous reality. Who knows it may even strengthen those bonds.

As we embark on the post Christmas season marked in our faith as ordinary time, let us take this joy and spread it throughout the year. Lets share it with those most dear to us. Let us always remind ourselves that the greatest joy is when we do what we are designed to do. And as God showed us through Christ, it may be that we are also designed to give.